well u mite think him refers to my bf or sumthin like tat...actualli no.. im referin to my bro..
been yrs since we sat to talk..been yrs since we actualli looked at each other in the eye n went 'hi sibling' its realli sad cos im envyin all my frenz for their wonderful family life(meanin parents n siblings) n somehow im always lost when they talk bt it. im jus way off their frequency when tat topic comes. i oni rember my younger days where i jump on my dad everyday when he came back from wk.now home is a chore.home serves the purpose of shelter n food. its so emotionless. i grew with it.but i realli dun like it. and my bro..was like my childhood 2nd hero(aft my dad hu will always be my superhero) every play time was bt "anneh!" meaning bro in tamil.. used to watch wrestling cos he did.watched soccer cos he did. played soccer cos he did. but now its..well its like hes non existent in my world. well ive always wondered hw all of these came about..was it age? was it my defiant attitude wif my family? was his fault? i actualli dunno..
ive bulit a wall around me n created a whole new world within tat territory n jus left them behind the wall.. im so used to it..been 4 to 5 yrs since family was secondary to me.. as much as i wan the times back..i jus refuse to break the wall..somehow im stronger n confident..but i wldnt be hu i m w/o my dad.. he n his "do well the next time.u can do it" their high expectations of me made be believe, education is worth my time.. i can totally recall hw proudly my father told his colleagues aft my postin for psle..'my daughter got cedar'. i mean nt like cedar is the best skl around..rgs n scgs was like out of the world options la..but still i cld c hw proud he was...everytime i cried aft my exam was only cos i knew i disappointed him..n ofcos also tat i noe i shld hv done more la..hehe..
but ya..
a very random post aft so long esp..but it meant sumthin to me..hope it'll spark off sumthin to u guys..(if ull read tat is)
>>naa aambalaiyeh paakaatha kaathu enna apadiyeh alli yeduthu potuu<<
magic through at 3:29 AM
the life in the eyes of the one that lives
in perfect harmony with her heart, mind and soul
